This movie gave me awful blogwriter’s block.  After 2 weeks of thinking about it, I haven’t come up with anything except that Diane Keaton is never not annoying and I wish I had a cat as cuddly as Vito Corleone’s.  This movie is excellent and if you have never seen it you should.

I hope i haven’t disappointed the one person in the Netherlands who reads this with any sort of regularity.

Not as scary as I expected, which is good because I don’t deal well with creepy movies.  Or creepy anything.  I tried watching Dexter one night when I was home by myself and ended up turning on all the lights and checking to make sure no one was hiding behind my shower curtain.

Still, Thomas Harris, who wrote the novel, must be one sick motherfucker.  And who knew Captain Stottlemeyer had it in him?

Monk reruns will never be the same.

I don’t like romantic comedies.  They’re never really funny and the women are always desperate and men are always swooping in to make them feel better. barf.

I also don’t like how everyone just loves to remember hilarious 1980’s fashion trends and wear headbands and tights and legwarmers for halloween and call it a costume because that really doesn’t take much effort at all.

The 1980s were a really really ugly time in the history of America and I’m glad I only lived through half of it.

uglyuglyugly.

This gym shorts over sweatpants thing as ugly as it is mind-boggling.  Is there a reason for this? If you know please email me.

unacceptable.

I started wondering if this lady just walked on set wearing this headband or if someone on the crew made a conscious decision to put it on her and then I realized that this movie was so uninteresting that I no longer cared about any of the characters or the ending.

Luis Guzman, adults with braces, a little kid who raps, Tom Cruise in his panties, cocaine, Phillip Seymour “Tragic Character” Hoffman, frogs, guys who wear Sally Jesse Raphael glasses, John C. Reilly

Someone must have slipped Paul Thomas Anderson a list of my favorite things.

Ty has some awesome lines in this movie and Chevy Chase delivers them with a subtley I never would have expected from him. “Thank you very little” might be the best thing to come out of 1980.

“Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue” is a really close second.

I love Frances McDormand, even though she basically only plays 2 characters: Frances McDormand I Want to Hug and Frances McDormand I Don’t Want to Hug.

Marge Gunderson definitely gets a hug:

As does Linda Litzke:

She kinda reminds me of my mom in Almost Famous, so Elaine Miller gets one too:

But she’s not always adorable.

She was the only thing I liked about Friends With Money, but was definitely un-huggable:

and in Laurel Canyon:

In the end, the moral of this story is that Frances McDormand is perfect in Fargo and all of the other movies I’ve seen her in.  If I could be friends with two famous people it would be her and Steve Nash.

Best night ever.

I wish I had seen this earlier, because Intervention and a teensy-weensy problem with ecstasy in college made this a non-event. I also really couldn’t get over the fact that these people were doing heroin but their pupils were getting BIGGER. Watch Spun instead.

[or, Gambling Addiction Doesn’t Lead to Insolvency if You Can Dunk]

White Men Can’t Jump taught me a few things about myself. I sort of like Rosie Perez’s voice, Wesley Snipes has awesome skin, and based on photos of the outfits I chose for myself at the time, I would have looked right at home standing courtside at a pick-up game in LA in the early 90’s.

Also, Steve Nash is the Woody Harrelson of China: